He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
as a side note pls kill me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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