So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I AM VODKA MAN
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
