Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize