I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I smell stomach acid.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
