Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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