All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
