We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize