i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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