Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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