3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
