So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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