I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
