She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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