I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
