But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
