Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
