You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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