Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
