i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize