WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
