I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
