Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
operation have a gay friend backfired
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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