Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
