It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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