She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
