Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
