Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We have so much sex to catch up on
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
