shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Are my feet made of real feet?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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