is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
