just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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