love makes seman taste better
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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