Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
