I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
