I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
