So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize