if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
