ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
