okay pat passed out under dana's car
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
