Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize