what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize