from now on my penis is your penis
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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