I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
