Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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