so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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