My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
