he puts the penis in happiness.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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