Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
