And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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