a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
