i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
