Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
