Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize