On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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