Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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