If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
