At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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