i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
