So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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