Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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