5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
