Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
