I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
