once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
