He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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