I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
