It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
