omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
